Today was the first day in as long as I can remember, that I was actually happy to wake up! Waking up for me, and getting out of bed, has been lethargic and painful for decades. What's changing? Well, for starters, I have a mantra on my bathroom mirror that says "start each day with gratitude and sound meditation." I have done that. I have also been working with amazing healers who have helped me adjust past, present and future contracts I've agreed to. These are the things that have helped me become fully aware, sentient and present in this human body. Anything short of that for me, is spiritual and emotional by-passing. I came here on a mission, and all the challenges, hardships and pain have been my greatest teachers.
In the past few months, with the addition of a spider web to the West wing of the Dragon Fly in the Prairie Temple, I've completed my part in an alien experiment (that's a longer story...). I have grounded my house, which was at odds with the Earth, and integrated it into all the energy and magic of the land. I have changed the orientation of the "Star Gate" into the woods, to align with my house, and I have cleared the land, and it's protective dome, of all those objects, threads, and connections that are not of the highest benefit to myself, the land, and those that come here.
The Dragonfly now carries a spider on her back!
For the first time in my adult life, my jaw doesn't crack like waking on thin ice when I open my mouth. Both of my knees, which had been feeling like they were falling apart, are solidifying, and stabilizing, as is my left shoulder. My cracked heal of 3 decades is also healed, and for the first time during a shamanic breath work session, I felt the power of my Dan T'ien. It was like a thousand volts running through my body with a concentrated ball in my lower abdomen.
The biggest difference, however, comes from my body self-talk. For years I have focused on what is wrong and what is not feeling good. And now, I'm encouraging my body, telling it how well it is doing, and how amazing it is! I'm complimenting it, coaxing it, and coaching it with thoughts of what we both want: ease, comfort and flexibility. I'm giving it what it needs, which is my clearest, and most focused intention to get, be, and stay well. I know my body is created to do this! And we are doing it together!
I wrote a work for my UMKC Conservatory faculty colleague JoDee Davis on trombone called Awaken! It is no surprise that two years after it was written, she is rehearsing the piece for a commercial recording. For the past decade, I have felt like I do my best work while i'm asleep, when my mind can't interfere. Now it is time to start doing my best work when I am awake! And waking up with joy in my heart and body, is a great place to start!