Paul Rudy: Blog en-us (C) Paul Rudy/Twisted Trail Music (Paul Rudy) Fri, 17 Aug 2018 15:11:00 GMT Fri, 17 Aug 2018 15:11:00 GMT Paul Rudy: Blog 90 120 Spiritual Messiah: My relationship with Mother Earth I am alive today, because SHE helped me find reason to live.
Spiritual MessiahThe Earth is my Mother

I am whole today, because SHE showed me what wholeness looks like.

I am healed today, because SHE modeled how to rebuild myself from nothing. 

I am complete today, because SHE demonstrates every day, and in every season, holistic balance.

I hear life in my whole body today, because SHE witnesses to me of harmony and flow in everything She does.

I am fulfilled today, because SHE gives me tasks to dream about and focus on.

I am curious today, because SHE teaches me something new every day.

I am strong today, because SHE shows me how to be flexible, and bend in the wind without breaking.

I am free today, because SHE shows me how to live without judgement of myself or others. 

I am happy today, because SHE shows me how to flow with what is.

I am wealthy today, because SHE is constantly giving freely of her abundance.

I am am ALIVE today, because after watching her, I know what it means to be alive!

Dual Spirit Medicine WheelThe circle of life is complete.

My Spiritual Messiah IS Mother Earth and all Her Relations.

This blog is for me, and you, to share experiences we have had at Harmony Farm or another special place. It is about building a reciprocal relationship with Mother Earth: giving and receiving in equal measure. For everything taken, something is given in return. For every experience with Her, gratitude grows exponentially, and that lubricates generosity and life. Please email me your stories to be included!

The Earth is my shelter, I shall not want.
I lean on Her green pastures as She speaks through quiet waters that restore my soul.
She shows me the high road that serves all.
And even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of stress, I fear no upheaval, for She is always there to rest upon.
My fear is not believable when you are with me and I with you. Your sod and tree, they comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me in the presence of what's believable before my very eyes.
You wash my head with rain as your brother the skies overflow.
Goodness and love flow from you to me all the days I am here.
And in your comfort I will dwell for now and ever.
Paulms 23 (August 15, 2016)


]]> (Paul Rudy) #Alive #Being #Earth #Gratitude #Healing #Mother #Reciprocation #SpiritualMessiah Fri, 17 Aug 2018 15:10:36 GMT
I spent the weekend with fire This Memorial Weekend I was fire keeper for the 27th annual Kansas City Pipe Circle's Stone Dance outside Kansas City. I have received initiation by fire through a couple of experiences. The first was in 2010, when I went to Franklin, NC to help a friend with some ceremonial work on her property. In doing our research, we visited the Nikwasi Mound in Franklin. It is a relatively nondescript bump in the topography between a highway and a street right in town. While I sat in meditation on top of the mound, my inner vision exploded with bright red, orange and yellow billowing flames, as if coming up through my hands on the mound, and into my body. It was cathartic. A "knowing" that I was being given fire. And not just any fire, but the fire that was needed for the very ceremony we were planning. It was an old Cherokee fire that those in that area who were brutally massacred by the British in 1760 and '61, and who were ready to pass over, would recognize. I knew my job was to make and keep a sacred fire, a key component of our two-person ceremony, and now I had what was needed to accomplish it in the right way. You can read about that ceremony, which taught me to listen in many new ways beyond my ears, in Toby Evans' book Dead But Not Gone: Are You Part of the the Soul-Bridge to Guide them Home? (chapter 25: A Good Red Road). Six weeks after this experience I was asked to tend fire for the first time, at a sweat outside Taos, New Mexico, for the lodge where I had done my vision quest earlier that summer. March through August of 2010 was my Homeric Odyssey, leading up to my Fellowship at the American Academy in Rome for a year. And fire was a huge part of the initiation.

In the summer of 2012, after moving to Harmony Farm, I had a very different experience with fire. For six weeks systemic poison ivy, heat stroke, sunburn, fever, and sun stroke literally burned through my body. This was another initiation into fire: a demonstration of what happens when it is not balanced with the other elements. While that was intense, I am grateful for the understanding that came with experiencing this element so intimately and unmistakably. And since that time, I have had numerous opportunities to learn about working with fire from both experience, and wisdom shared by elders. Prairie burns are one of the most powerful experiences for working with the sentient intelligence of fire, and its power to purify and renew the land.

FireheartBurning the prairie-photo by Mitch Kauffman

I have sponsored a dancer, and tended fire before at Stone Dance, so I know the setting well. Every fire is unique, with it's own energy: sometimes needing to be tamed, and other times coaxed and coddled. This one proved no different. From the moment I lit it thursday afternoon, to it's completion Sunday morning, it's intention was clear. I have learned to discern fire's intention through its temperament, especially when created in a ceremonial way. And the temperament of this fire was clearly feminine. I did not know before now, that fire could burn with feminine energy. I thought it was always on the masculine side of the spectrum. This fire taught me different. It taught me that everything, regardless of its form, and how it predominantly presents itself, can have balance in its expression and temperance. The fire burned evenly and with steadiness. No matter how much wood I put on it, it never burned high for long. After a very short period, it would settle in to small flames even with big piles of wood. These flames never reached out in a hungry way for human flesh, as some fires do. It was steady, dependable, and even-keeled. The heat, however, was deceptively deep and strong. While the flames rarely reached out, the heat was intense at the core of the fire, no matter how much wood there was. The sun, our life-source-fire, showed me His feminine side in December of 2014, and now fire was showing me that side of himself too. Fire is a great teacher. An urgent teacher. An elemental teacher.

Lady LibertarianLady LibertarianLady Libertarian-the feminine side of our masculine Sun

The vision quest leading in to this Stone Dance, revealed that part of what this year's dance was about was the balancing of the masculine and feminine energies. I pursue the same balancing work at Harmony Farm, so it was evident why I was being called to tend the fire for this dance. Every moment of the weekend, my dance with this fire demonstrated the clear and subtle "power" of feminine energy, rather than the often misguided and imbalanced "force" of masculine energy we see so much in the world today. Perhaps the biggest lesson, among the hundreds I received, is to be wary of stereotypes in any situation. If I only view the obvious, external aspects of something, I risk missing the subtlety of expression that makes it balanced and whole. If I project too much of my past experience onto something familiar, I may miss seeing its entirety. What a beautiful lesson of the feminine principle in action. I am grateful for this powerful and subtle demonstration on my road to harmonizing balance between the elements and energies of physical and energetic expression! My job of listening deeply expands the more I practice it, and my ability to see and listen becomes richer, and more subtle as my bandwidth of understanding core principles of life deepens! I have experienced the surface of fire often. Now I feel like I have experienced His balanced, subtle and complex depth, which includes the feminine principle as well. And this is my Leo sun-sign mission as life's practice.

Long life

Honey in the heart

Everything in balance

13 Thank-yous

]]> (Paul Rudy) ceremony dance listening meditation prayer sacred fire Mon, 28 May 2018 14:29:30 GMT
Becoming my own inner King There are so many ways I choose to give my power away, and make no mistake...our society tries every trick in the book to encourage me to do that. As Greg Tamblyn makes clear in songs on his CD Whiny Victim Love Songs, we are given so many messages that we are not in control of our feelings, and thus, our lives. There are lots of new songs, though, that are sending a different message, and I think humans are starting to get it: that what we put our thoughts and words on, becomes our reality. In the age of Pieces, the bringers of darkness learned how to master this manifestation, and wreak havoc upon humanity and the Earth. Now, us bringers of the dawn are learning how to do that too, in equal measure. And a big part of it is learning to create our inner world in the likeness of what we want to see in the outer world: peace, compassion, acceptance, balanced harmony, motion and care for all relations. The only way for me to bring that about, is to start inside. But you know that already.

I have an addiction. It's called Facebook, and every day my giving into it demotes me back to my own inner peasant. A growing body of research shows that social media is as addictive as any substance, that causes spikes of oxytocin and dopamine in our brain. The more we get, the more we want. The biggest challenge for me staying present lately, is constantly checking Facebook. And it's even worse...I am not only checking to see whose liked my stuff, but also if specific people have like it. This is really creepy...It's like monitoring my life to see if the right people are paying attention to me. An absurd futuristic extreme of this can be seen in the episode Nose Dive (season 3 #1) of Black Mirror. In the future people are so obsessed with their online ratings, based on who likes their posts, that they are willing to go to any lengths to get these "likes." There is good news, but I won't spoil it. Watch it for yourself. 

So, today, I started ascending back to my throne, by deleting the Facebook app from my phone. I found myself incessantly checking it. It was like a drug. So, the best way to keep from binging on this false high, is to not  least not have it constantly accessible in my pocket. I do this with food too. I am challenged by binging on sweets and carbs, so I don't keep them in the house. When I do have them, they are a real treat. 

As a recovering recluse, I have enough challenge interacting with real people in the world, and so I don't need...don't want... Facebook further encouraging me to stay home alone 24/7, when I do want to connect with real people when the time is right. 

There are many positive aspects of Facebook and social media. And I embrace those. If I have an addiction with them, then it is my fault, not theirs. So, to become my own inner sovereign, it's time for me to look inside at what is missing, and find something real to fill it with. Or better yet, leave that space open for magic to happen. And as my throne grows, I become a magnet for all that I desire in life. Facebook can't give me that, but the land can, and real people too. So, I look forward to meeting you out in the streets, in the cafe, or the woods, or coffee shop. Let's stop and chat for a while and share some air molecules. 

peace, paul



]]> (Paul Rudy) #inner #king #me #owning #sovereignty harmony farm listening meditation Mon, 16 Apr 2018 18:33:27 GMT
Summer Opportunities Upcoming Summer Events

I have so many wonderful things happening this summer in Lawrence, Kansas City, Ohio, Michigan and Kansas City!

Art Opening, June 30, 2017 Final Friday Photograpny Merkaba Wellness Center and Spa

841 New Hampshire, Lawrence, Kansas 66044

Moon Celebration and Meditation, July 7, 2017, 7-9PM

with pixies

Music and Healing, Heart of the Dove KC

4327 Troost Ave, Kansas City, Missouri 64110

Rootwire, 2017, Workshop and Performances

July 20-23, 2017

Rootwire Fest

Harmony and Horses

July 29/30, Cannington, Ontario Canada

Divine Pine Gathering

Own and Hone your Energy

Dr. Timir Bhakta and Dr. Paul Rudy

Own and Hone your Energy

August 19, 1-5 PM

Heart of the Dove KC

4327 Troost Ave, Kansas City, Missouri 64110

]]> (Paul Rudy) Art City Events Festival Kansas Land Lawrence Meditation Music Ohio Paul Performance Photography Rootwire Rudy Transformation Workshops divine gathering horses listening moon pine Sun, 25 Jun 2017 16:02:41 GMT
Photography Opening at the Midland Railroad Hotel rudyrudy

I have seen through the camera lens all my life, but only recently started capturing things that really intrigue my imagination! On Halloween night of 2014, on a cold, moonlit walkabout, I began taking photos on my property at Harmony Farm in northeast Kansas. Photos of the night sky, sometimes with the moon as a backdrop, began revealing many different kinds of orbs, shapes, and configurations I had never seen before. My breath found its way into them as well, creating cosmic designs that look more like supernovas and distant galaxies, than the moisture from my body. I have long been curious about the unseen things of the world, and these photos inspired my imagination. Explained, or unexplained, these images show, to me at least, the magic and mystery of life. When I suspend my disbelief, reality shifts and becomes far more rich than I could have imagined. These images became a welcome sign-post for me on my sojourn through this life time. 

Please visit my galleries here

Dancing Lady Dragonfly Labyrinth @ Harmony Farm in North East Kansas

Dragonfly Labyrinth Cropped Oct. 2016Dragonfly Labyrinth Cropped Oct. 2016Google Earth Image

Photograph compliments of Google Earth






]]> (Paul Rudy) Harmony Farm Kansas Kansas City Lawrence Midland Railroad Hotel Wilson orbs photography seeing Sun, 14 May 2017 12:39:01 GMT
"You are safe with me" I feel like i've been on task with my external mission: what it is I came here to bring the world. In 2007, I wrote my first CD In Lake'ch ("I am another yourself" in Mayan). That lead to a series of five more discs, and eventually into a sound healing, meditation, and journey practice that keeps expanding in ways I could never have imagined! In Lake'ch was the first music I wrote that I listened to with excitement. I felt deeply in my bones that this was the music I've been looking for my whole life. And after years of searching for my musical purpose, I knew I had found it. There was safety and contentment in that space as my solar plexus unfurled its golden flag of will, personal strength and a strong sense of musical self.

More recently I've been practicing my internal and personal mission. Our personal mission is about the work we came here to do on the inside. They are not separate. Forward motion on one front, can lead to motion on the other for sure. For me, this internal mission seems infinitely more complicated because the many layers of karmic entanglement are...well, deeply personal. The only way to go there, is to face myself deeply in all of my messiness. And it is not just me that I'm dealing with's all the me's from the past (and maybe even some futures) that sum up my soul journey. And it's all the yous too as we relate to each other! And that makes my head spin... The deeper I get into this mission, however, the less it looks like a chaotic bowl of spaghetti, and more and more like a well-orchestrated spider web. Karmic web I am at the center of mine, and you in the center of yours, and where they overlap, they entangle in the most complex ways imaginable! I don't seek to identify these karmic connections, but awareness of them comes anyway. It's part of the gig, and feels like one big-ass octopus onion, whose tentacles keep reaching out, and smack me upside the head, tripping me up when I least expect them. The good news is, that my head can take it! And the more it does, the more it opens to let my heart take the driver's seat. This is my mission right? So why wouldn't this stuff keep coming up each time I am ready to go deeper into myself and my experience? 

And so, while my personal missions is...well...personal, there are some things along the way I can share. 15 years ago I felt like a wrecking ball moving through this life. When I stepped back and saw the effects, it stopped me in my tracks, and still does when I am reckless and unaware of how I am moving. And each time I find myself in this space, I have learned to stop, reset, and ask for more grace: to walk the Earth more gently. And, in short order, that grace flows.

Yesterday in meditation, when I spoke the phrase "you are safe with me" it brought some of the deepest sorrow I have experienced. It brought to the surface my own broken heart, and the hearts of others, throughout time, that I have had a hand in breaking. The weight of this feels enormous, but the pressure this time, is from the inside out: my heart breaking all over again for forgiveness, from myself, and from all those who I have hurt. And out of this weeping, my whole being began feeling this more gentle walk through life, and around others. And from deep within this weeping, I heard my heart say:

"I am your true source of power. Your solar plexus is a deep well of strength, but I, your heart, am where true power lives. Lead with me in every situation, and, on top of a grounded and creative foundation, with your strength and courage, WE can be a quiet place for everything you encounter."

My mended heartIt is never too late to heal your broken heart.

And so with every fibre of my existence, I strive to align my actions in staying balanced, cohesive, and creating this place where "you are safe with me" and I with you.

]]> (Paul Rudy) Compassion Harmony Farm Kansas Kansas City Lawrence Love Meditation Music Paul Rudy Safe place healing listening seeing Sun, 07 May 2017 12:19:27 GMT
I haven't done this in a while!

Used by Permission of Stephen Smith

It's been years since i've composed in this way. A beautiful text by a friend, simple harmonies and melody... 

Creating has become so much a part of my life. Whether daily sound meditations, building things on the land or making music the old fashioned way, my creativity has been ramping up over the past few year. Something new is coming. And I'm ready.

It's time to look at old things in new ways. So...I took some fence down around my house, and all of a sudden, I could see and feel beyond it. I had no idea what an energy barrier barbed wire fence could be. It prevented me from seeing a bigger picture of what could be. Somehow, I could see beyond it, but I couldn't feel beyond it. Now, my front yard is so much bigger and I feel a part of the larger land that I caretake. So I decided to dedicate this new space with a serpent mound of my own!

I also planted some Osage Orange tree starts in the Harmony Medicine Wheel. These 8 trees will be the foundation of a living lodge, that is intended to serve the next seven generations. They share the space with 4 old Red Oak trees rounds for sitting on: the old in harmony with the new, and each serving in their own way.

Life is like that some times. Old patterns and habits serve us well, until they don't. Then it's time to let them go, creating space for the new to come in. Spring is coming a little early here in Kansas. I'm ready. I'm willing. And I'm able. Let's do this!





See for yourself!

Experience Sound Healing!

Listen to my music!

Feel the land!






]]> (Paul Rudy) Anomalies Composition Harmony Farm Kansas Kansas City LFK Labyrinth Lawrence Meditation Music Orbs Paul Rudy Photography Sound Sound Healing experiencing feeling listening reflecting seeing Sun, 19 Feb 2017 17:19:47 GMT

Used by Permission of Stephen Smith

Seeing requires belief. Experiencing, listening, and feeling are KNOWING. And THAT leads to reflection!

I once read of a culture, I believe in Africa, who experience seeing as a instrument of the will. Of course I can't find reference to it as I type, but it is something that I ponder a lot. What if, instead of "seeing is believing" it were the opposite: "believing is seeing"? There are stories of the 1st Nations People of N. America not being able to see the ships of Columbus floating upon the water, which may, or may not be true. I do know that there are many things in my life that I do not see, until one day, POOF...and there they are where they have been all along, right under my nose! There has been a lot of experimentation about "inattentional blindness" where we don't see things we are not paying attention too. I would take one step further and include things that we don't "think" are possible. The most well-known example is Simons and Chabri's experiment titled Gorillas in our Midst: sustained inattentional blindness for dynamic events. I also believe that we have trouble seeing those things that do not conform to our previous known experience. Thank goodness for artists who always challenge us to see/hear/taste/feel/smell the world differently. -

As a composer and sound artist, I know that what we see influences what we hear, and what we hear influences what we see. I would be out of business if our brain did not lie to us in this fashion. Perhaps lie is too strong of a word. It approximates, and works really hard to make things add up to our previously known experience. Michele Chion coined the term "synchresis" whereby our brain unconsciously fuses (and accepts) images and sound which do not occur together naturally. Indeed, the best film music and sound design relies on this "spontaneous weld" that our mind makes without our conscious permission. When was the last time you saw an orchestra out in the desert as cowboys ride by for example (Mel Brooks Blazing Saddles, not withstanding). 

I invite you to see beyond what you believe. In this time we are all called to use our other senses of hearing, feeling, and experiencing, and reflect beyond what is apparent only on the surface. I have discovered many things living here on the land that I can only half explain. It is that mystery that keeps me interested, thriving and moving forward. It keeps both my brain and my spirit involved. I invite you to share in life's mystery, and not always ask "what is it," but sometimes "how does it make me feel," or "what do I experience through it?" I invite you to explore images taken on my land, mostly at night, but some during the day. These images delve deeply into the unknowing, where seeing is only the beginning of something much deeper waiting to be explored and experienced! 

Architecture of a single breathArchitecture of a single breathPhotograph of a single breath on Halloween Night, 2014

Thanks for stopping by and happy expanding in 2017!

Oh, and I have not forgotten about smelling, tasting and touch. These are just not my area of expertise! I did lead a sound circle for the Romantics club, after an amazing gourmet meal by Asia Kostka in Porto Ercole, Italy, in July, 2011, near the end of my year at the American Academy in Rome! It was a total engagement of the most wonderful full human experience! 

See for yourself!

Experience Sound Healing!

Listen to my music!

Feel the land!


Welcome to my new web space! Please explore at your own pace!




]]> (Paul Rudy) Anomalies Kansas Kansas City Music believing cognition design film inattentional blindness listening photography seeing sound synthesis Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:00:00 GMT